If I Were 22

When at the age of 45 you are asked the question “If I Were 22”, how will you reply? Will your answer make you happy, or sad? Will your answer make you proud, or wish you had a place to hide? Will your answer impart wisdom to the 22-year old you?

So reflecting on a Sunday evening with a glass of champagne in my hand, taking reflective sips every now & then, looking at my family immersed in their various activities around me --- I’ve been married 21 years, with 2 boys 19 & 17 --- this being just after dinner, in our living room, here is what at 45 I will tell myself at 22.

Don’t live life with regrets, instead live life with your dreams, to your fullest dreams. Do not be afraid to take the first step. Do not be afraid to make mistakes. Your Promise in Life = Your Performance + Your Potential + Your ability to make Pertinent Prioritizations along the way, and then to stay Proactive, intentional, exemplary & steadfast in achieving them. To achieve your dreams, you’ve got to learn & earn, live & give, and lead selflessly, heroically and with wisdom, charisma & inspiration at all times. Whoever uses their 24 hours per day best, week after week, month after month, year after year… will run a good race. Running the good race is not simply about winning or losing, but about improving our lives, our companies, our communities, our cities & our countries, oftentimes dreaming & working together with fellow leaders, wonderful colleagues, friends & team members, in harmony & alignment towards inspired & meaningful outputs & outcomes.

Knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you want. Decision making in Life & Leadership is about clearly knowing what you don’t want and what you want, and then finding the wisdom, eloquence, persuasion & soft power to win others smoothly & sustainably over to your perspective, your point-of-view.

Throttle down to throttle up. We must learn how to slow down, not just how to speed up. Imagine driving an accelerating car with no brakes… sooner or later you’ll crash, and it won’t be a pretty sight.

Treat Time as your Best Friend & Most Trusted Ally, never as “something to kill”. How many times have we seen people “unthinkingly kill Time” in between meetings, whilst waiting for each other, whilst waiting for a bad situation to pass? Time is the coin of our lives; we must treasure it dearly and use it well.

Dreams must be heroic to Self & Society, connecting seamlessly between Self & Society. Your dream must be 2-dimensional --- as you get more successful in Life realizing your dreams, help someone along, help them fulfil their dreams. The more you give, the more you receive. Life is full of such paradoxes. The difference between a great life & an exceptional life is the difference one makes to Society.

Inform ≠ Influence ≠ Inspire. To have maximal, optimal Impact, the next formula works better: Positive Impact = (Inform + Influence) x Inspire

Leadership is a craft. Every time you get to lead something, lead someone, lead an idea, lead a project, lead an initiative, lead a team, learn greater sophistication & finesse along the way and make a subtle change every now & then, just as a craftsman would, a little detailing here & there, to give things an extra lift, a special touch, making your effort more valuable & achieving higher impact.

Nothing great happens by chance. Teaming & Trust are essential ingredients for joy, achievement, fulfilment & success in Life’s journey. Whether at work, in life or at play, the 4 words one should earnestly learn & sincerely employ are: “Can you help me?” and “How can I help?”

Finally, never be in maintenance mode. Always look beyond corners, twice. Growth is the only sign of life. We can simply grow old, or we can also grow wiser, better, developing greater finesse, wisdom & sophistication as we progress on Life’s journey. Every once in a while, you want someone you respect and care about to say these meaningful, highly encouraging words: “Wow! You just keep getting better!”